Me, Myself, and I: How to have a relationship with me

Why are attachments important to relationships?

Attachments serve as the navigation system for developing safety, trust, stability, patience, acceptance, and love for oneself. However, when an attachment is skewed or violated, it can create a faulty attachment that affects how you see and show up for yourself and others.
If such attachments are not addressed, they can change the direction of your present and future.
It is essential to recognize the signs of a faulty attachment and address it to avoid negative impacts on your self-image and relationships. By doing so, you can gain tools to develop healthy attachments, which are the foundation for building healthy relationships, especially with self.

Relationships 101

A relationship with yourself is vital to your health and well-being by building and nurturing your mental, physical, and spiritual health. Your relationship with you gives you insight into how your values and belief system set the stage and are connected to belonging, safety, and trust in your authentic self. The authentic you that owns and honors your voice, visions, thoughts, emotions, and self-worth.

Why are relationships hard?

Experiencing hurtful and uncomfortable situations can cause a skewed look at relationship building. Yes, relationships can and at times be challenging to manage, grow, and develop, however, with the proper tools they can be beautiful and amazing. Gaining an understanding of why relationships are hard can be the first line of defense to moving from hard to loving relationships. Keep in mind the first relationship to move from hard to loving is the one with yourself. Your relationship with yourself will be the guide to advancing all your relationships.

Are you operating in a co-dependent relationship?

Are you allowing others to supply you with information surrounding who you should be? Co-dependency leads to a discount of self and feelings, resulting in doubt of your importance and value. Creating a message that others’ beliefs are your blueprint for your thoughts, behavior, and feelings. If you are struggling to find your voice and identity due to only seeing the values in others, and not yourself, you might be experiencing co-dependency. Healthy relationships are created based on the value of self that you develop and not just the value others provide.

Are you resistant to rest?

Rest is fundamental to the whole of who you are, but the negative messages from family, friends, or society can cause you to forfeit loving yourself through rest. Are you loving yourself daily by being still, open, and engaging with yourself through rest? Do you give yourself permission to rest without negative messages of you being lazy or unmotivated? I challenge you to assess what it means to you to rest. How often do you rest, and what message(s) do you tell yourself when you rest?

Real emotions can produce false emotions

Emotions give you content and information to navigate how you show up, engage, and release you into the world. When not properly addressed or managed, emotions can become a runaway training destroying everything and everyone in its path. As beautiful as emotions can be, they can also be damaging. Utilizing healthy tools and coping skills, along with developing a relationship with yourself, you get to determine and manage the emotions and put them in their proper place.

Help, I am lonely!

Loneliness is an epidemic that is affecting many today and is tied to the quality of your life. Understand loneliness isn’t just connected to the lack of relationship with others but connected to a lack of knowing yourself. This is why it is important to build a relationship with you that will allow you to get to know the authentic you. In knowing you, you can find a village that will support, see, and accept all of you.

I don’t do relationships

Relationships are the heart of who we are, but due to trauma, pain, and disappointments, they can feel overwhelming to manage. Learning to see, accept, and discover yourself is the first step in developing a relationship with yourself. Give yourself the gift and permission to say yes to the original you and to the relationships that honor the original you.

How emotions can create your value

Your emotions and value can be seen as two sides to the same coin, but they are not. Emotions are a navigation system that drives the value that is attached to your belief system. Whether through expressions or suppression, emotions can create a positive or negative narrative of who you are. Leaving you disconnected and lost to the most important person, you.

The Idea of Love vs. Actual Love

The idea of love and love is sometimes seen as the same thing, but they are not. Love isn’t perfect, yet it is an action that holds a sacred space that allows you to be seen, supported, and wanted just as yourself. The idea of love creates a falsehood that is connected to only your emotions and feelings, which creates fairy tales. Does the space that you hold for you allow you to want, support, and see the whole of you? Or does space causes you to see yourself through an idea that holds you to unrealistic expectations, perfection, shame, and guilt?